Home > adoption, bipolar, gay, LGBT, psychosis, sex > Very Inspiring Blogger Awards

Very Inspiring Blogger Awards

Clown on Fire has given me The Very Inspiring Blogger Award, which is great. Positive feedback feels wonderful even for such a modest blog as mine.

Very Inspiring Blogger Awards

Rules for this award:

1.Thank the person who nominated you.

2. Share 7 things about yourself

3. Pass the award to 7 nominees

Thank you Clown on Fire. Your blog has a grasp on reality that mine severely lacks. I truly do wish I could write more like you.

I’m going to take listing seven things about myself and alter it to seven things about myself that no one knows. For added challenge, at least three have to be positive. These are in no particular chronological order.

  1. I seriously considered being a monk–first Christian then Buddhist. I realized I was doing it to run away from being gay. Also I was manic and full of religious fervour. The mania and the fervour wore off.
  2. When I was adopting, I was on anti-depressants and was pretty emotionless. The second boy tried to provoke a response from me with a stream a verbal abuse. I pretty much ignored him, and relied on the drugs to keep me level. The next thing I knew I was in a full-blown manic rage, screaming and roaring at him. I told him he was going to bed without the rest of supper, and I dragged him out of his chair and upstairs to bed. He started crying and said that he was sorry. I told him he wasn’t sorry yet, but that he would be soon. He went berserk, but I got him upstairs and put him in bed. By then my rage had abated somewhat. Luckily he just went to bed. I realized later that this boy had previously been abused, both physically and sexually, and I had just pushed all his buttons. I had told him he would be sorry when I put him in bed. Imagine what he must have thought! At least nothing physically bad did happen. All that happened was some hauling around and some scary shouting, which I’m not trying to minimize. At least his bedroom remained his safe place! Because of this incident, I didn’t try too hard to keep the boy when we began to doubt if we could take care of him. I couldn’t subject a child to that rage again.
  3. One Christmas season (November) I was depressed and alone. It was a dark grey day, and I went to a local mall and spent about an hour picking out a toy for a child. I put it in the Salvation Army[1] toy box and went home. I don’t remember what started it, but about a half an hour later I started laughing and I laughed non-stop for about 15 minutes and felt really good.
  4. When I was seven I had a sexual encounter with another boy. It wasn’t scary or anything, but I have relived that encounter at least once every day of my life since then.[2]
  5. I can recall in detail every sexual partner I’ve ever had, including their names when I knew them. There have been about 50, including several trips to bathhouses. I am a hypersexual manic gay man and this is up to when I was 25 when I met my husband and became monogamous with him. Now I am 43.
  6. When my grandmother died I was overcome with grief (I was depressed too) and then I had a vision of her as a young woman and an angel and I felt much better.
  7. Once in a blue moon I think about women. It’s not threatening to my sense of self or anything.

[1] I no longer support the Salvation Army in any way because once I watched them put an elderly gay man out of the apartment of his life-time partner, who had just died (literally that day). Also, they support anti-LGBTQ measures around the world.

[2] I remember having sexual fantasies about boys at 4, and having a crush on Captain Kirk at 6, so don’t tell me #4 made me gay. Still, it obviously had some effect.

As for nominating seven blogs, that would be pretty much all of the ones I know. Here are the ones that inspire me (in no particular order, as usual):

  1. A Clown on Fire
  2. Laments and Lullabies
  3. depression comix (I followed Sexy Losers while it ran, too)
  4. Broken Light Collective
  5. As The Pendulum Swings
  6. Uncle in the Attic
  7. MANaging maNIA

If I’m following your blog and I didn’t list you, please don’t take it personally. If you felt I should have listed you, let me know so I can start paying more attention to your blog. Please don’t feel the need to list me just because I listed you. I can’t promise I’ll take part in all the awards, but I had to take part in this one because it was my first and because it was nice to be thought of.

  1. clownonfire
    March 10, 2012 at 7:27 am

    Captain Kirk, hey? You’re either 107 years old like I am, or were slammed by all the syndicated shows.

    Congrats, it is a well deserved award. I do find your blog informative, and very humane, too.

    • March 10, 2012 at 9:39 am

      I was six in 1974. I am old, but I did watch Star Trek in syndication. Every night at dinner.


  2. March 11, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    Hey THANKS! I just posted a post about this award, and I’ll be sure to publicly thank you (now off to edit!). Don’t know I missed this before….SORRY!

  1. March 11, 2012 at 1:12 pm

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