The Epiphany

In 1993 I met my future husband and I cleaned up my act. He demanded it and he was worth it. However, even knowing that it would end my relationship, it was so hard not cheating that sometimes I only avoided it by shit luck. I eventually worked the werewolf out of my system, but the rages and the mood swings were still there. I still had hallucinations and strange ideas (like thinking god told me to find the secret code in all the license plates I saw while driving from Toronto to Montreal).

In the fall of 2001, I was reading about Schizophrenia in Wikipedia and it was so vague that I didn’t make any connection to myself. Then I read about Schizoaffective Disorder and it was unsettlingly familiar. So was Bipolar Disorder, and so was Schizoid Disorder. Obviously one of these applied to me. I settled on bipolar. I had one night of weeping and self-pity.

The next morning I thought to myself “thank god I’m not crazy; I just have bipolar!”.

Advertisements
  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: