University

My mood swings continued through grade 13 (pre-university) (1986). My marks swung between As and Fs. I was hit with another depression, and my marks nose-dived precisely when I needed them to be as high as possible for university admission. Instead of Computer Engineering, I had to settle first for Physics, and then finally for English, Professional Writing. My maths and sciences had taken bigs hits by my illness, but my humanities had not. If I could not build or program computers, I would write documentation. I did eventually become a computer programmer indirectly by writing sample code for manuals and by writing custom software for the English Department.

My mood swings continued through university (1987-1992). When I was depressed I was completely incapable of doing work. Being depressed it is like being encased in solid plastic. You can see the world, but you can’t move and you can’t interact with it. You can’t think.

When I was manic, I was a complete slut. I would have sex with anyone (human and otherwise). I met other werewolves on the Internet who I’m sure were also bipolar (although I didn’t know that bipolar even existed at this point). I drove all across the US to be with people. One guy asked me to come and kill him. Luckily I was in the right frame of mind and I refused (hopefully it was a cruel joke).

At times I seriously had to talk myself out of thinking I was Jesus. Other times I was convinced I could do impossible things, and that I was actually doing them. Suddenly I would be stunned when everything fell apart.

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